The Incarnating Child

"This Divine Feminine principle is most fully represented on earth in the mother and child. Thus today does motherhood give the possibility of revealing the Divine in its archetypal feminine form. It should be said that a true and conscious art of motherhood as it is practised by an increasing number of young women, gives an opportunity for the Divine Mother Being to work into human souls on earth, to be manifested amongst us. "

On my bookshelf at the moment is The Incarnating Child by Joan Salter.

Its such a strange book that I almost didn't write about it. The combination of her generation (she would be my Grandmothers age) and her extreme Anthroposophism means that a lot of it it pretty out there. She recommends 'nipple preparation', is against extended breastfeeding, and recommends a level of controlled crying. She suggests that cows milk is "the ideal food to help the child incarnate" - and comes dangerously close to suggesting that mothers should give cows milk over formula even in the first year. Fruits which grow above the earth should be introduced before vegetables that grow on the earth, and then root vegetables which grow under the earth. That is, unless your child has a large head, and is therefore a slow incarnator. They need root vegetables early to balance out their dreaminess. I could go on.

All of this makes me nervous, and is certainly at odds with the way most Steiner people I have met go about their lives. The 'Anthros' I know (and I invite lots of comments please) seem to see the 'indications of Rudolf Steiner' as revealing, but don't treat them as gospel.

Although I would hate for anyone to think this is what all Steiner mums are like, I have thorougly enjoyed reading it. It reads a little like a 1950s home economics text, or for that matter Ms Stricy-Pants Gina Ford - its terribly precise and prescriptive with no room for questions. But, at the same, time, I actually found myself agreeing with an awful lot that she says.

- Exposure to the worlds rush and bustle must be avoided (for newborns). The best music for this ages is a softly played lyre or flute ; and lullabies, sund by mother and grandmothers down the ages, have a timeless value.

- The best colours for baby are rosy pink, mauve, pale blue, a sunny yellow, or creamy white. Brown and green should be avoided, for they are too 'earth' for the young child'

-For a child under a year old to wear a flimsy top only ... is contrary to the laws of Nature ... it is asking for body organ degeneration in later life.

- A common error is to expect a young child to be capable of making a choice ... How much better for the child if Mother, in a cheerful and authoritative voice says 'Bathtime now! come and get dressed"

- Television watching ... induces passivity and cripples initiative

- If someone gives you a 'horror' as a baby gift, have the courage not to use it! The well being of the baby is the prime consideration.


and my very favourite just to leave you with ...


- The deplorable Mr Men series is a sorry and degrading portrayal of everything human. It can only undermine a child's respect for what shoud be the dignity of man.

Fantasy

Before I fell in love with Steiner I was very interested in Montessori education. There are many things the two philosophies have in common, but one of the areas they part ways on is ‘fantasy’.
In The Absorbent Mind” Maria Montessori talks about children’s love of fantasy, magic and pretend play as if it was a sign that something was wrong. Too much ‘pretend’ play should be discouraged, and children gently brought back into the ‘real’ world. This was something I could never quite get my head around. If any Montessorians are reading this and wish to comment, I’d love to hear from you.

Steiner on the other hand sees that the first seven years are ripe for imaginative play, and that a rich fantasy life should be encouraged to develop children’s full creative potential. This seems to be born out by modern science, in fact a whole episode of Child of Our Time was recently devoted to the development of creativity and the ‘crisis’ around seven years when the real world comes crashing in.

I remember as a child being very deeply in 'fantasy'. I had an imaginary friend, I had passionate relationships with my dolls. My aunty remembers giving me a small play-horse and says that I took it into my room and held it up, turning it around and staring at it in awe. I would love Munchkin to have the same love of fantasy that I had, and find Steiner philosophy full of wonderful ideas to encourage this.

In ‘You are your child’s first teacher’, Rahima dedicates a whole chapter to developing fantasy and imagination. Dolls, toys, fairytales and nursery rhymes are all important parts of this. She explains that “Everything the young child takes in makes a profound impression on him”. So quality toys, made of natural materials, and that are ‘open ended’ so children can play with them in a myriad of ways are the ideal. I have seen this at playgroup where a circle of rough wood becomes a plate, a hat, a shield, a wall, a door … all in the space of a morning. A piece of blue coloured muslin becomes the sky, the sea, a curtain, a blanket, a peekaboo device.

Dolls play a particular role in Steiner play. Rahima writes that “We need to put our attention into the quality of the dolls our children have. Not only their expression is important, but the quality of the material as well. Is the doll hard and cold or soft and huggable? Is the hair platinum and grotesquely matted after a week’s play? A soft cloth doll with yarn hair and a neutral expression provides the child with a companion who can change as she does… Barbie is a multimillion dollar enterprise and encouraging our young children to indulge in her designer jeans and convertible supportive values that impoverish the world of the young child”

And Fairy Tales and Nursery Rhymes are also very ‘Steiner’. I always had a problem with Fairy Tales, and I still hate the Hansel and Gretel tale, and Cinderella. Children being treated badly and alone in the world made me hugely sad as a child, and today. Rahima says to simply avoid stories that bring out these feelings in you as an adult, because your fear will be transmitted to children. However, she suggests a wide range of lovely Fairy Tales, that are actually very sweet.
For three year olds she suggests
Sweet Porridge
Goldilocks
Little Tuppens
Little Louse and Little Flea
The Turnip
The Mitten
The Gingerbread Boy
The Johnny Cake
The Hungry Cat

And my last comment on this, rather long and drawn out post, is to dismiss any myth that Steiner parents don’t read to their children. While making up your own stories is strongly encouraged, I had a discussion with a woman from the Steiner Federation here who said that we should ‘fill our children’s lives with books’ and continue reading to them not only as babies, but right up in to their teens. Wise lady that.

Initially posted at http://domesticallyblissed.wordpress.com/2008/03/15/fantasy/

Housework ... but not as we know it

Still working through ’You are your child’s first teacher’ and still getting so much out of it.
One of the themes in many Waldorf/Steiner books I have read, and that I have heard spoken about in our playgroup, is the role of the mother as a ‘model’ doing house hold tasks in a calm, pleasant way. Our attitude and approach is the most important part of the equation, not the result.

One of our original playgroup teachers was a wonderful example of this. She moved gracefully, with a soft smile on her face, and humming while she worked. She would sort out the bread rolls, organise hand washing stations, cut fruit for morning tea, arrange dolls for story time, all with this calm, serene, contented presence. And the children all gravitated towards her.

The following except from the book speaks directly to this.

Because rhythmical activity speaks so strongly to children, it is helpful to bring conscious gestures into our household tasks such as folding clothes, sweeping floors and washing the windows, car or floor. The children will watch, join in to help, or simply take it all in as they go about their work of playing. It sounds like we’re back at the same old stuff – housework- but there are two differences. One is we’re doing these activities with awareness of how we move, with awareness of their beneficial effect on the young child and with caring. The other is that we might be doing things we wouldn’t ordinarily do like sweeping, washing place mats on a scrubbing board, ironing, grinding grain with a hand mill, baking, sanding wood and so forth. By becoming conscious of our own activities, by regulating our daily lives in a harmonious, rhythmical way, by valuing what we do around our children, we are shaping their will forces, and helping their physical bodies to develop in as healthy a way as possible.

This is a huge challenge for me. I am a rusher, clumsy, frantic, stressed and displeased about having to do ‘mundane’ things. I long to do tasks without a toddler pulling on my skirt, and try to distract her with toys so I can get some peace to finish my own tasks. I have much to learn.

Originally published at http://domesticallyblissed.wordpress.com

Waldorf Toddlers

I really wanted to share more from this wonderful book on Steiner parenting that I started to blog about last week.

When it comes to toddlers, the Waldorf philosophy - if I get this right - is that young children exist wholly in their physical senses and their will. So for toddlers its all about touching, tasting, hearing, smelling and seeing. They are insatiable for all these wonderful new things. One of the most important things you can do is to pay attention to all that surrounds your child.

This includes the food, clothing, images, toys sunshine, sand and water. It also includes the less tangible ‘nourishment’ that comes from your warmth and love and the emotions that surround your child.

As well as the senses, your toddlers will is developing - their internal drive and motivation is still very instinctual but it is moving from the pure instinct of a baby to the ‘urge’ of a toddler.

According to Steiner, will begins as instinct in a baby, then gradually changes over the years into urge, then desire then motive. Urge is still strongly connected to the body (biological urges) Such urges will further metamorphose into desire when the emotional element enters around the age of two or three.

As you would expect in a Waldorf book, there is a strong aversion to the commercialization of childhood. Caution is suggested in what you bring in to your home, whether through the influence of television, so called ‘educational toys’ like computers for babies, flashcards for toddlers, or structured lessons for pre-schoolers. Instead of these more commercial activities, there is a wonderful list for each age group of suggested toys and things to do.

For example, in the Toddlers chapter she suggests push toys, wooden blocks cut from various diameters of a tree, low containers for water play, a sandbox, a toy telephone, simple dolls, nesting toys, block crayons, and balls. Activities include letting your toddler ‘help’ you around the house, going on nature walks, hiding games, and lots of singing Physical activity is critical for toddlers, and Rahima explains that “when your child is first mastering new body skills, most play consists in pure movement without the element of fantasy. A young child loves to run, jump, walk on tiptoe, climb, run around or roll on the ground. Like a lamb in springtime or a young colt, your child delights in movement for the sheer joy of it”

I particularly enjoyed her suggestions for discipline with toddlers. If you want to teach a certain behaviour to your child, one of the best ways is to actually do it in front of (or with) him. This demands that we as adults get up and actually do something. Movement combined with the smallest amount of fantasy or good humour can go a long way toward getting the child to do what you want… For example, early in the year at our Waldorf preschool, several children couldn’t sit calmly during snack time. “We sit with our feet in front of us’ we repeated again and again, as we reseated the child or showed our own straight way of sitting. After several months the children were older and able to sit calmly during snack time, and the lesson had been repeated so many times that it had begun to penetrate the body.

This is certainly something that I have taken on board with Munchkin.

First published at http://domesticallyblissed.wordpress.com/2008/03/04/you-are-your-childs-first-teacher-the-toddler-years/

You Are Your Child's First Teacher

I have just finished reading a wonderful book ‘You are your child’s first teacher’ by Rahima Baldwin Dancy. I thought some of you might be interested in hearing a bit about it. It seems to be one of the most commonly recommended ‘introductions’ to Steiner education (or Waldorf education for you in the US!) and I certainly found that it gave me a good insight into the Steiner philosophy, without getting bogged down in theory or dogma.

The book covers so much ground that any review I write of it will simply not do it justice. Instead I thought I would write a few posts that focus on the parts of the book that I personally enjoyed the most.

So to start with - what does she say about babies?

While attachment parenting and Steiner education are not the same thing, there is a strong attachment parenting ’feel’ to this book. The author stresses the importance of a responsive mother, who is in tune with her child and provides nurturing, comfort and security. Baby carrying, co-sleeping and breastfeeding on demand are certainly supported by this book, as is a slow, gentle path to establishing daily rhythms for little ones.

In line with the Steiner belief that babies arrive from a spirit-realm, she suggests very gentle birth practices, preserving quiet and calm especially in the first six weeks, keeping your newborn warm and wearing only natural fibres, and placing blue and pink silks over the bassinet to bath baby in soft light.

Rahima Baldwin-Dancy is far from prescriptive though, and encourages mothers to develop their own instincts and the confidence to follow them.

”The key, as I see it, is not to follow any “system” or “expert” to the sacrifice of your child. Try to inform yourself and ask “what does the child need in this situation for his or her best development?” Use your head, listen to your heart and make your best decisions based on what you perceive your child needs and what you are able to provide in each situation”.

I can’t personally think of any better advice for a new mum that that.

First published at http://domesticallyblissed.wordpress.com/2008/02/27/you-are-your-childs-first-teacher/