Always too much stuff

Those of you who read my post on simplifying will know that I strive for a simple, uncluttered, unhurried life.

A big part of that is managing possessions. It is all too easy to accumulate stuff, even though we try very hard to avoid the 'mall trall' and anything made in China. But somehow, it creeps in ... gifts from our generous friends and family, hand-me-downs, stuff the kids have outgrown, and of course, sometimes we just buy 'stuff'. And if I am not constantly 'decluttering' it gets out of control so fast.

At the moment my kitchen is getting a purge when I struggled to fit the juicer, the food processor and the slow cooker all in the same cupboard. Of course I can justify all 3 items as 'essentials', along with my electric egg-beater, my immersion blender, the toaster, the jug, 2 frypans, a crepe pan, my potato ricer, my hand egg-beater, 3 white square platters, 2 milk jugs, .... the list goes on and on.

I have decided to apply the same rule in the kitchen that I do in my wardrobe - if it hasn't come out in a year, then I don't need it. So that means I can keep my oh-so-perfectly-seasoned crepe pan, but only 1 fry pan. I can have 2 square white platters, but number 3 is surplus. And really, the slow cooker is starting to look a bit questionable too. Of course, some things I will keep because I am a teeny bit sentimental ... my nana-in-law's silver cutlery, my beautiful cake stands, my husbands beloved but unused beer glasses.

But everything else can find a new home.

One blogger who is my role model here is Sara Janssen. (I've raved about her before)You can read her new blog 'The Happy Janssens' if you need inspiration. 2 adults, a five year old and a 9 month old baby living in an RV. Enough said.

A devoted Christian, Sara feels that she is following the path of Jesus by not owning too many things, and many other faiths share a similar view. Vietnamese Zen Monk Thich Nhat Hanh talks about the importance of simplicity as part of the spiritual path, and one of the precepts his followers seek to adopt is:

Simple, Healthy Living - Aware that true happiness is rooted in peace, solidity, freedom and compassion, and not in wealth or fame, I am determined not to take as the aim of my life fame, profit, wealth or sensual pleasure, nor to accumulate wealth while millions are hungry and dying. I am committed to living simply and sharing my time, energy and material resources with those in real need. I will practise mindful consuming, not using alcohol, drugs or any other products that bring toxins into my own and the collective body and consciousness.

There are so many areas in my life that can be further simplified ... and the gains are great. Perhaps a new thought for me should be 'what would I talk if we lived in an RV'.

What would you need?

Simplify, Simplify, Simplify

I remember when I was at university I saw the book ‘Simplify your Life' by Elaine St James on the counter at the university bookshop. Despite my rather meagre student finances I bought it immediately and read the whole thing on the bus ride home. I was hooked. The notion of deliberately choosing a life that is ‘outwardly simple, inwardly rich’ resonated deeply. Since then, voluntary simplicity has been a driving value for me. I haven't always succeeded, but I have always aspired to live this way.

Now there is (of course!) a book called ‘Simplicity Parenting'. I haven’t read it but Grace has reviewed it very positively, and having read the first chapter on Amazon it certainly looks like a good read. It has got me thinking a lot about what ‘simple parenting’ means to me.

An old-fashioned childhood

I want my children to have an old fashioned kind of childhood … to climb more trees and watch less TV. To take all morning to get dressed, to read the same book 20 times in one day and to make forts with sheets over chairs in the lounge. To have one special doll and love her, not a collection of 40 Barbies and always be wanting more. To take all day to potter in the garden, or bake biscuits in the kitchen.

A stay at home mum

My life is simpler because we actually stay home a lot, rather than fill our days with playgroups, music classes, toddler gymnastics, play dates, and coffee groups. Our mornings are much calmer as there is no pressure to be anywhere. I don’t need to pack lunches and bags. I don’t need to pay fees or organise resources or sit on committees. Now we only have one car life is even simpler … if we can’t walk there in the pushchair, we can’t go! Plus, getting kids into the pushchair seems so much simpler than herding them in and out of carseats.

Avoiding mall trall

We try as far as possible to avoid the excesses of todays commercial culture (oooh, that sounds terribly self righteous). We don’t watch TV with the kids so they don’t see the ads for all the amazing toys. We try not to take them to malls and department stores, so they don’t see things to ask for. We try not to clutter our home with plastic junk. The odd time we do find ourselves in a K’Mart and experience the pester-power of a 3 year old we are quickly reminded of how much staying away keeps our life, and our home simple.

Beware the supermums

You know the supermums don’t you … the ones whose 2 year olds are already ‘preccious readers’ and are heading off to gifted programmes. The ones who anxiously teach colours, letters and numbers, agonise over each developmental milestone, and phone Plunketline twice a day to check everything out. These mums will stress you out … I tend to give them a wide berth!

Let go of perfectionism

My life is complicated by my ambition to be some of kind of perfect Waldorf mom who cooks biodynamic food from scratch, sews and knits and needle-felts and has nothing in the house that is formed or synthetic.

But for me, real life isn’t like that. Friends and family have different values, and I’d rather spend time enjoying my children than fermenting yoghurt. My heart broke the first time I saw how much Munchkin loved Dora the Explorer. It didn’t fit the picture in my head of what she ‘should’ be into … but that is my issue not hers.

And so when a loving aunty gave her a Dora doll for her birthday, and my grandparents gave her a Dora book I chose not to worry. Not to try to ‘hide’ the doll, or have a ‘little chat’ to the rellies about why we don’t have those things in our house. Instead, I bought her some Dora stickers to go with it and decided that life would be a lot simpler if I let go of my Waldorfy perfectionism.

We have even started watching the odd DVD here … I have three DVDs for Munchkin. She goes through stages of being quite into them, and when she’s having one of those days and Little Guy is refusing to settle they are a god-send. I am glad I fought the battle for as long as I did, but for me the decision to stop being a TV Nazi has made life a lot easier!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. What makes life at your place simple, or complicated?

Circle time songs for full moon days

It might not be scientific fact but most parents, teachers, ambulance drivers ... even check-out operators ... swear that the full moon has an effect for the worse on children's behaviour. Children seem to find it harder to settle, they seem rowdier, more aggressive and more tantrum prone. Its been just my luck that on the few occassions that I have led our playgroup circle, its been on a full moon day!

Just getting everyone to sit down can be impossible on days like this! So, a great suggestion I was given by our old playgroup teacher is to literally 're-form' the space by bringing the children (or child) together and doing a really 'active' circle time.

Active songs and finger plays help children focus their energy, while at the same time bringing everyone in the group into harmony. Finger plays that require a bit of concentration are great for calming things down, and for changing the energy of the day.

To start, a little bit of 'follow the leader' - getting a couple of children to come with you while you 'pick up' the other children while singing whatever song you use to start circle. Think 'pied piper' here! I haven't tried it, but a big game of 'ring a rosie' could be a good way to all end up sitting down in a circle!

Once everyone is together, some of my favourite action songs are

Galoop went the little green frog last night

Head shoulders knees and toes

Row row row your boat.

I'm a little teapot

One Finger One Thumb Keep Moving

Dingle Dangle Scarecrow

So, I'd love to know - what are the favourite full moon day songs and activities at your place?

Rhythm 101

Rhythm is a term you will hear a lot in Waldorf, and for me it was a hard one to get my head around ... perhaps because I saw it as related to routine, structure, and timetables. As I have worked with the concept, I have come to see it more in terms of harmony, nature and flow.

"the wonder of these rhythms is that they are 'precise' without being 'exact' like a mechanical clock. our breathing and heart rates change, our digestion and sleep rhythms can adapt. Like music, there can be speeding up and slowing down, different parts can move more quickly or more slowly, but the whole is harmoniously integrated'.
John Davy, "Living in Real Time" Lifeways - Working with Family Questions

Oh for life with children to be a 'harmoniously integrated' whole. With two childen I have found that life often feels tacycardic rather than rhythmical ... ... the baby won't stop screaming, five nappies need changing in an hour, the toddler has covered herslef in water and has now emptied the rice container over the floor .... and its still only 7.15am!

I find it helpful to think of rhythms in nature. Night follows day, summer follows spring, sometimes it rains and sometimes it shines. Establishing this strong rhythmical feeling at home is so important, and yet so challenging.

If I have achieved any success in establishing rhythm, it is from slowing down, doing less. I think the mantra for parents with young children should be 'less is more'. Steiner kindergartens are often described as having a 'timeless' quality ... somehow there is never chaos there perhaps because there is never a rush. There is always plenty of time to do what needs to be done.

For us, the cornerstone of a strong rhythm is a strong routine. Not rushing through the day ... just doing the same things in the same way, day in and day out. Wake up time with a cuddle in the dim light ... our daughter is a hyped-up chatterbox first thing, but a long cuddle seems to ground her so that she is ready for the day. Mealtimes are timely, calm, and eaten at the table not 'on the run'. Tidying up happens automatically, I try to sing or hum as I go. Outings yes ... but home in time for lunch. In the evenings its bath, dinner, story, teeth and bed ... same way every night.

This routine is filled with rituals ... songs that are sung, candles that are lit, stories that are told, cups that are used ... little things that matter so much to young children. We strive for a balance of 'in breaths' and 'out breaths' ... quieter, calmer times to balance the massive energy, action and noise of a toddler.

When we are out of tune with our rhythm, we all suffer. Mum gets stressed, Dad gets grumpy, Munchkin throws tantrums and Gidget gets colicky ... and downwards we go.

There are some wonderful resources around about rhythm ... two of the best I have found online are this article and particularly the comments by Rahima Baldwin Dancy, and this article at The Parenting Passageway, which is one of my all time favourites.

A Steiner mama is a singing mama

Singing can change the world; for when we sing, we change ourselves. We, the citizens of the world, are in great need of joy and peace, calmness and exuberance. When we sing we can create all of these moods and thereby shift and balance our breathing and blood circulation. Through singing we can create a sense of health and well being, which leads to a calming of the brain waves, a vitalizing of our organs, and the enlivining of our endocrine system. In addition to these health giving benefits for oneself and the whole community, it is just plain fun! Mary Thienes-Schunemann, Lavender's Blue Dilly Dilly

Singing is a really important part of the Steiner/Waldorf approach to little ones. In a Steiner environment, rather than 'directing' children, they are led by the rhythm of the day. Just was one doesn't resist that summer follows spring, children who are strongly imbedded in a rhythm won't resist that handwashing follows coming home, or that bed comes after teeth-cleaning . So often songs indicate what is happening, which is much softer and less 'directive' than a spoken instruction. Carrie explains this really well here.

So tell me, what songs do you sing during the day as part of your rhythm? We seem to have quite a collection here. I have to confess that I am a LOUSY singer ... I was actually asked to leave a school choir - so poor is my singing voice. For me, practice might not make perfect but I hope for passable. Munchkin and Gidget both love me singing however out of tune I might be.

I have to say that I think I'm very lucky to have attended a wonderful Steiner playgroup for the last eighteen months, which is where most of our home rhythm comes from. By the time she was two, Munchkin was asking for these songs. I'm not sure I would have convinced Hubby or my in laws to sing a blessing ... but Munchkin holds out her hands and says 'blessings!' with such conviction and concern that no-one would dare say no. I really admire Waldorf home-schoolers who have to work this stuff out on their own ... it must take a huge strength to do that!

Our morning song is a bit of a well known Waldorf classic

Morning has come Night is away
Rise with the sun … and welcome the day.
Good morning dear earth, Good morning dear sun
Good morning dear stones, and flowers everyone
Good morning dear bees, and the birds in the trees
Good morning to you, and good morning to me.

Story time we begin by singing

Mother of the fairy tale
Take me to your shining vale
To mountains high, and valleys deep
Where fairies fly and goblins creep
Now let us hear your fairy tale

At meal times we have

Blessings on the blossoms,
Blessings on the fruit,
Blessings on the leaves and stems andblessings on the ro--oo--ot.
Spoken: Blessings on this meal, Manaki Ene Kai and Peace on Earth”

At dinner time we up the ante with a candle before blessings, our candle lighting song is

Fire fairy come to us, fire fairy come to us, and the fire fairy comes, bringing golden light from the sun.

And I know we are not the only ones to make liberal use of the tune to 'Here we go round the Mulberry Bush' - this is the way we wash our hands/clean our teeth/put on our clothes ... etc etc.

Maybe I should look up that old choir teacher!!!

Autumn Singalong

Oh we've been having some autumnal fun at Playgroup this week.

The weather was miserable today, so rainy that the garden was a muddy quagmire. I don't actually know what a quagmire is, but I do love the word.

The beeswax crayons came out, and we managed to use the planks of wood from the benches to create indoor climbing frames. Our teacher brought along an amazing old fashioned apple corer that not only cores the apples but peels them and creates a spiral of apple. The kids were fascinated - we peeled a lot of apples! Its amazing how creative a bunch of mums can be.

We have been singing some lovely new autumn songs during circle time that I thought I'd share:


"The leaves are green, the apples are red'
They hang so high above my head
Leave them alone till windy weather
And they'll come tumbling down together

The leaves are green, the nuts are brown
They hang so high they won't fall down
Leave them alone till frosty weather
And then they'll all fall down together"



"I had a little apple on my apple tree
As small and round as an apple can be
And then one day it started to grow .....

I had a little apple on my apple tree
As small and round as an apple can be
And then one day it started to grow .....

It grew so big ... and red .... and ROUND
It just had to fall down to the ground"



"The river called softly to the leaves on the trees
I am waiting to take you on a journey with me.
So the leaves fell down softly on a quiet autumn day
And they floated with the river far fa-ar away"


"Five little leaves so bright and gay, (hold up five fingers)
Were dancing about on a tree one day
The wind came blowing through the town
(everyone blow loudly)
And one little leaf came fluttering down

Four little leaves so bright and gay.... (repeat poem)

One little leaf so bright and gay
Was dancing around on the tree one day,
The wind came blowing through the town
And the last little leaf came fluttering down."