The Incarnating Child

"This Divine Feminine principle is most fully represented on earth in the mother and child. Thus today does motherhood give the possibility of revealing the Divine in its archetypal feminine form. It should be said that a true and conscious art of motherhood as it is practised by an increasing number of young women, gives an opportunity for the Divine Mother Being to work into human souls on earth, to be manifested amongst us. "

On my bookshelf at the moment is The Incarnating Child by Joan Salter.

Its such a strange book that I almost didn't write about it. The combination of her generation (she would be my Grandmothers age) and her extreme Anthroposophism means that a lot of it it pretty out there. She recommends 'nipple preparation', is against extended breastfeeding, and recommends a level of controlled crying. She suggests that cows milk is "the ideal food to help the child incarnate" - and comes dangerously close to suggesting that mothers should give cows milk over formula even in the first year. Fruits which grow above the earth should be introduced before vegetables that grow on the earth, and then root vegetables which grow under the earth. That is, unless your child has a large head, and is therefore a slow incarnator. They need root vegetables early to balance out their dreaminess. I could go on.

All of this makes me nervous, and is certainly at odds with the way most Steiner people I have met go about their lives. The 'Anthros' I know (and I invite lots of comments please) seem to see the 'indications of Rudolf Steiner' as revealing, but don't treat them as gospel.

Although I would hate for anyone to think this is what all Steiner mums are like, I have thorougly enjoyed reading it. It reads a little like a 1950s home economics text, or for that matter Ms Stricy-Pants Gina Ford - its terribly precise and prescriptive with no room for questions. But, at the same, time, I actually found myself agreeing with an awful lot that she says.

- Exposure to the worlds rush and bustle must be avoided (for newborns). The best music for this ages is a softly played lyre or flute ; and lullabies, sund by mother and grandmothers down the ages, have a timeless value.

- The best colours for baby are rosy pink, mauve, pale blue, a sunny yellow, or creamy white. Brown and green should be avoided, for they are too 'earth' for the young child'

-For a child under a year old to wear a flimsy top only ... is contrary to the laws of Nature ... it is asking for body organ degeneration in later life.

- A common error is to expect a young child to be capable of making a choice ... How much better for the child if Mother, in a cheerful and authoritative voice says 'Bathtime now! come and get dressed"

- Television watching ... induces passivity and cripples initiative

- If someone gives you a 'horror' as a baby gift, have the courage not to use it! The well being of the baby is the prime consideration.


and my very favourite just to leave you with ...


- The deplorable Mr Men series is a sorry and degrading portrayal of everything human. It can only undermine a child's respect for what shoud be the dignity of man.

Writers Block

I adore reading other mothers blogs. I love getting an insight into the every day details of other peoples lives. I love reading people’s inner thoughts, and struggles. I suspect people share more intimately on their blog than they often do in real life.

I sometimes struggle to write when I think of people I 'know' reading my blog. I worry that they might snigger or judge me somehow. Somehow philosophizing isn’t best done in polite company, but rather in the anonymity of our online selves.

But I'm not feeling particularly philosophical today. Life is busier than I would like it to be at the moment. I seem to be struggling to find any sense of balance between being a mother, a wife, a home maker, a friend, and this pesky career thing I have on the side. So when I sit down to write, a million 'to dos' float around my mind, and nothing else comes.

So, in honour of my current writers block I thought I would share some random posts that I have read recently that I have found particularly inspiring ...

Uncommon Grace

"All this has me thinking about the rituals that we keep when our children are not themselves -- suffering, under the weather, emotionally distressed, etc. Most of the time I kind of think that those times are isolated and somehow not part of our "real life."

And yet, there they are, cropping up and reminding me of the messiness of life. And how important these times of convalescence are: to nourish a sick child's body, to nurture a sorrowful child's spirit, to ease a suffering child's mind. What does it take to do that job? Yes, it takes some real physical things: some eucalytus oil in the vaporizer, a homeopathic remedy under the tongue, a cool cloth on the forehead, a gentle massage of aching muscles.

But most of all, it takes time. Time is the best gift I can give my children, when they need me, and even when they think they don't. Time that sometimes I think I don't have. But if I really take the time to be present with my children, everything else seems to fall into place anyway. That time spent is an even greater gift to me. "

Bluebird Baby

As the little one and I were raking the garden yesterday I began to think of my mother. We had beautiful flower beds around our house growing up. We were always outside gardening or inside baking. I was trying to imagine how much of that would have been lost if we had a computer in our living room. How would I have felt if my mother was online instead of getting her hands dirty in the garden? (And this is in no way said to make anyone feel bad about their computer usage! It's just my feelings about how my time is spent.) Those times spent gardening and baking are some of my fondest memories. I want to make sure the little one has that too.

Soule Mama

I'm a firm believer that one must truly know and love something in order to be believe strongly enough to protect, save and heal it. This philosophy guides the way we parent in so many different areas, and certainly our feelings and beliefs about the Earth are at the top of that. I truly want for my children to love and know the world around them, and as a byproduct, I know (and have already seen) that a sense of caring for it will evolve. I don't want to flood them with doom and gloom of the state of the world, but rather, mindfully give them information as they are ready - as they age, and as emotions mature. I think they know a lot about the state of things, but more than that, they really quite simply are in love with - and still getting to know - the Earth around them.

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend.

Gypsy

The challenge is over

The Buy Nothing Challenge is officially over.

I'm feeling particularly virtuous I have to say. Apart from the birthday banner splurge I have been extremely restrained.

While I have bought some new clothes for Munchkin, I have found New Zealand made, and usually WAHM made options I even found NZ Made socks at http://www.cosytoes.com/ - and they are the best socks ever. Most of her winter wardrobe I bought second hand.

My biggest oops was a new duvet inner for Munchkin. After a particularly chilly night I decided we needed a new duvet right now - no messing around looking for second hand options when a good night sleep is at stake. I was delighted to find what appered to be a 'made in New Zealand' wool duvet inner. 100% Pure New Zealand Wool. New Zealand's Warmest Wool Duvet. And the name of a New Zealand company, with a New Zealand address.

Yet, when I opened the box, took the duvet out of the very eco-friendly calico bag, and spread it out - I found the tiny little label. Sure enough "Made in China". Disappointing, but not suprising.

This challenge has really made me think, hard, about what I buy.

I don't think I will be able to buy Made in China again without serious consideration. The human rights abuses, the coal generation, the political system, the miles things must travel, the workers rights or lack thereof ... its not something I feel I can support.

Hubby is feeling a bit over all this 'crunchy-ness' though and has begged me to stop trying any new ideas. On the weekend my friend confessed to buying 3 tops from TNT (a very cheap children's clothing company here) for her daughter. On the way home Hubby suggested that it would just be easier if I would do the same, and questioned whether it was really worth the effort - wouldn't there be more productive ways to spend my time. He may be right - but as those of you who read my earlier post know - it would break my tree-hugging heart.

As much as I hate to admit it, its really not that easy being green.


Crunchy Chicken's new challenge for May is a great one - an extreme eco-throwdown. It has got lots of ideas spinning around my head. But for now, I think I'll keep on with the no-made-in-China, second hand where possible, buy local, regime. I can't wait to read how everyone else goes with it though.

You Make My Day

The lovely Dawn at Renaissance Mama sent me a 'You Make My Day' blog award. That's so sweet - thank you very much Dawn!

I want to pass this on to Gabes at SweetPKnits. Gabes is a wonderful knitter whose blog makes me seriously considering taking to the needles. She has patiently answered my knitting questions, and between us we have seriously improved what my Mother in Law is knitting!

Gabes has designed a free pattern for a little ear flap pilot cap. She has done this as a fundraising initiative for Child Cancer - so if you love the pattern, knit it up and send some money to your local Child Cancer foundation.

A good project and a good cause. It Makes My Day!

Whatever the weather, we will still have fun together

Munchkin’s favourite past-time is playing outside. We have a small section, with grass, trees, and some decking and stairs out front and back. She runs and runs, around the grass, up the stairs, along the deck, across the pavers. She picks up leaves, plays with stones, lies down on the grass and laughs hysterically. If its raining she sits down, and pokes out her tongue to drink the water. If its windy she puts her neck forward and runs, as if trying to kiss the breeze.

Personally, I’m more a fan of the great indoors. A duvet, hot water bottle and a good book are more my thing that a sleeping bag, tent, and a thermos. But I see how much pleasure Munchkin gets from being outside, in nature. So I put on my woolly hat and my boots and jump in to the leaves along side her.

Rain or shine, we get outdoors everyday. We go to parks and gardens and playgrounds. We feed ducks. We hug trees. We play in the leaves. We go to the beach and get covered in sand. We get wet, messy, cold, and down right dirty.

Sometimes it seems too miserable to go outside, too windy, too cold. I take inspiration from Rahima Baldwin Dancy who tells the story of a kindergarten in Germany where the children go outside everyday, whatever the weather. She says ‘there is no such thing as inappropriate weather, only inappropriate clothing’. That's become our motto around here too.

Welcome to Blogger

Welcome to Domestically Blissed at Blogspot.

I'm hoping Blogger will let me create a prettier, easier to read blog, and it means I can use librarything which I just love (see my list of books in the sidebar, it will change all the time!). Lots of people have also said they want to leave comments but couldn't before, so hopefully Blogger will make this easier too.

You'll find my personal favourite posts popping up here in the archives as I transfer them. Its been really interesting reading my old posts, its just a shame I can't transfer comments.

Please bear with me if thinks look a little odd from time to time while I 'settle in' to my new blog home.

Also, for those of you kind enough to have me in your 'favourites' pages, please change my link when you get a moment. Thank you!

Gypsy xx

Slow down … you move too fast

Over the last three weeks, our playgroup has had a few sessions with a woman from the Steiner federation. It has been an amazing experience, but I have struggled to write about it because it has affected me so personally.

As a mother who rushes around at high speed, speaks very quickly, spends hours on the internet, schedules activities in for every day, works part time, loves the company of others and gets extremely jittery at the thought of spending time alone … a lot of what this woman had to say was very hard to hear.

Of course, I am paraphrasing terribly, and I welcome comments from anyone that thinks I have gotten the wrong end of the Steiner stick!

We all know the way we speak to our children can be deeply harmful, but we often forget that it can be extremely helpful, and healing. Young children absorb everything they experience into their very being. In that sense, the way we speak to them actually forms who they are.

By being fully present when we speak, by choosing our words consciously, by speaking slowly, calmly, peacefully we help our children develop fully. Beautiful words will have a very positive affect, just as ugly words will harm our children.

Filling our homes with artificial voices – the television, the radio, recorded music – confuses the child and is no substitute for the living voice. It is only the living voice that can be the powerfully positive, healing force that we desire. Children need to hear their mother and father speaking to them, singing to them, telling them stories..

Children are very sensitive to sense impressions and even a trip to the supermarket, with its bright lights, colours and noises, will be incredibly overwhelming. It is important to give our children a rich home-life – and that means spending a lot of time at home, just pottering about quietly doing home-making activities. Children won’t get bored doing this – they will love imitating their mother, playing with a few simple toys, running around the garden. It is the mothers that get bored. Many mothers are ‘too much in the mind’ with a running commentary going through our heads, thinking about the next thing we need to do, giving off a busy, nervous energy.

She commented that when mothers live ‘in their heads’ and rush their children around over-filling them with sense impressions, the children too become manic, over-wraught, excitable. Homes are filled with so many toys – these can be pared down to just a very very few quality toys that the child can love.

What she said has had a big impact on me. Initially - I wanted to reject everything she was saying. After all, we don’t watch TV, hardly go to the mall, our activities usually take place outdoors and close to nature. We might be busy, but I really thought that Munchkin likes going out, being busy as much as I do – and I would go crazy spending a day at home. I thought of women of my mothers generation, who suffered from terrible loneliness without the social support networks we have today.

But, as I thought about it, the truth of these teachings really hit me. Of course, adopting these teachings doesn’t mean we stop seeing other people. Or that we stop going out. But spending more time at home, not doing anything in particular has made a big difference. Munchkin thrives on this. And surprisingly, I’m really enjoying it too.