Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Work doesn't work for me

Over at Rocks in My Dryer Shannon is having a 'what doesn't work for me Wednesday'.

It seemed particularly pertitent this week. Life has hit a new level of mania this week. My 'part time from home' job has turned into deadline central with urgent phone calls and emails from early in the morning till late at night. I was even taking calls and texting during playgroup today. Everything has suffered.

Quite simply, work isn't working for me. Work is pulling me in too many different directions. Its scattering my energies between different clients, different reports, different deadlines. I don't dare take a minute to tidy my desk or even write a to-do lists, practices that I used to hold sacred. My proverbial saw is blunt.

I have been re-reading Buddhism for Mothers, which Nikki suggested I should turn to. I need to stop rushing, and start focussing on being mindful. When I'm working I need to work. When I am not working, I need to develop the confidence to turn my cell phone off, close the computer down, and be a mum.

Working from home, splitting child care with Hubby, both of us working less than full time - this is supposed to be the post feminist nirvana. But, more and more I'm realising, it just doesn't work for me.

Now, this is a rather desperate sounding Works For Me Wednesday, so cheer yourselves up and head over to http://rocksinmydryer.typepad.com/shannon/ for some more cheerful links!


ames said...

I hear you loud and clear! My biggest issue with balancing work and home life is that work completely wipes out all of my mental and emotional energy, and then there's nothing left for my home life. Not good at all.

Anonymous said...

I agree. It's hard to split child care with your spouse and work different hours... we tried that before our last child was born and it was just miserable!
Homemaker Barbi

sweetp said...

been there done that. i remember feeling like i was giving to so many places but none of them very well. hard eh. chin up, tomorrow will be better

Nikki said...

I've also been through these struggles - in fact it's something that seems to need reassessing and tweaking a couple of times a year for me. I find when I feel anxsty like this that there is something that usually needs to give. We all suffer when there isn't enough "just being" time and it doesn't take long to find the balance again once we figure out what's up.

Anonymous said...

Gypsy, yes it seems like it should be nirvana! But sometimes it's just not the right time. Or not the right work. (That's part of why I love my work, because it is truly flexible and there aren't those urgent calls and emails usually.)

I think you hit the nail on the head about separating work and family time more fully. I have learned that as well, that it really doesn't work for me to "just check my email." I get sucked into my computer, the kids start acting out to get my attention, and it's just not worth it.

Megan said...

Buddhism for Mothers...tell me more.
I can't even think of doing anyother thing other than look after Ara and even then...well at the moment its getting really stressy for me.
Dave has had to move down to Auckland during the week to work and I'm working with Ara...she does not play by her self or do anything by her self much and I'm starting to get a bit too stretched.
Any ideas would be great

Gypsy said...

Thanks for all your nice comments! Writing this whingy post is making me get my act together - or at least make plans to!