It seemed particularly pertitent this week. Life has hit a new level of mania this week. My 'part time from home' job has turned into deadline central with urgent phone calls and emails from early in the morning till late at night. I was even taking calls and texting during playgroup today. Everything has suffered.
Quite simply, work isn't working for me. Work is pulling me in too many different directions. Its scattering my energies between different clients, different reports, different deadlines. I don't dare take a minute to tidy my desk or even write a to-do lists, practices that I used to hold sacred. My proverbial saw is blunt.
I have been re-reading Buddhism for Mothers, which Nikki suggested I should turn to. I need to stop rushing, and start focussing on being mindful. When I'm working I need to work. When I am not working, I need to develop the confidence to turn my cell phone off, close the computer down, and be a mum.
Working from home, splitting child care with Hubby, both of us working less than full time - this is supposed to be the post feminist nirvana. But, more and more I'm realising, it just doesn't work for me.